Just your standard 'artifically inseminated kids of a lesbian couple meet up with sperm donor dad' Rom Com.
Heart felt, funny and gut punchingly touching, this a warm bath of a film that is so ridiculously well acted, it almost hurts.
97. The Kids Are Alright.
Just your standard 'artifically inseminated kids of a lesbian couple meet up with sperm donor dad' Rom Com.
Heart felt, funny and gut punchingly touching, this a warm bath of a film that is so ridiculously well acted, it almost hurts.
96. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Viewing the Wrath of Khan 31 years after it's release (and for the first time) does not do it any favours.It's painfully dated, which would be fine if it wasn't so damn fricking boring.
Not such much 'KHHAAANNN' as 'YAAWWWWNN'.
I have a feeling that others may not agree with me on this... ;-)
95. Gravity
Spectacular, poetic and awe-inspiring.
Without doubt the greatest 3D IMAX experience you will ever have. My jaw hit the floor at least three times. A genuinely astounding experience that should not be missed.
94. Stoker
Directed by Chan-wook Park, Stoker is a solid piece of Asian cinema in a western setting.
It has all the usual tropes; Murder and brutality is a hobby practised by more of the protagonists than not, while law enforcement and the general consequences of death dealing are something of an after thought.
It's ultimately a gruelling experience that any wannabe sadist will enjoy
93. Django Unchained
I could listen to Leo and Chris talk all day. There scenes together are classic Tarantino. Utterly mesmerising.
After the boreathon that was 'Eli Roth shoots Hitler in the Face' (well apart from the scenes with Chris in obviously) I wasn't expecting much from Django but boy am I glad I took the time.
The over the top action scenes suit the film perfectly and you actually tell what's going on (unlike the aforementioned ERSHITF). Which is nice.
92. Elysium
Why would you want to live on Elysium? Apart from the tanning machines that cure every disease known to man it looks pretty, pretty boring. It's just a big garden from what I could see. No shops, clubs and you can pretty much guarantee there isn't going to be a decent pub.
That said Elysium is a proper film that makes every punch count (of which there are many) and it's a snappy, spunky ride.
An 8 out of (and not as good as) District 9.
91. The Place Beyond The Pines
Being a dad changes your opinions about everything. Being a dad certainly will ingratiate you to The Place Beyond The Pines as it glares at the relationship between a father and son.
If I'd seen this film a year ago I would have probably not got as much out of it as I did watching it today. It's an indulgent but lavish affair where Bradley Cooper really steals the show as the guilt plagued Avery Cross.
It could perhaps do with a little trimming but overall it's a fucking quality piece of film making.
90. Only God Forgives
I'm still not sure about Only God Forgives.
It's all set in a stylish, sadistic world, where everybody walks everywhere (are there no cars in Bangkok?) and murder is committed as in hobby like regularity.
It's incredibly slow, voyeuristic and aching well composed.
Avoid if you like your films with dialogue.
89. Killng Them Softly
Killing Them Softly is an enjoyable and efficient underworld thriller (if a little unspectacular).
It's gritty, grimy and filled with the kind of bottom feeding trash that can't help but stumble into their inevitable demise.
88. Life Of Pi
Beautiful, mesmerising, tense and heroic.
Life of Pi is an astounding spectacle. Every
scene paints a picture and while it is occasionally self indulgent, it's a film with such glorious tiger that they can do pretty much what the hell they
like!
I loved it from start to finish.
87. Pacific Rim
I'm loathed to be negative about Pacific Rim as it is AMAZING when it comes to robots punching holes in monsters.
It's just so dull when it comes to the human characters mainly down to some pathetic dialogue, bizarre accents and poor pacing between the monster pummelling scenes.
I can't help feeling it would been better if Arnie had of been in it cracking heads and one liners (in that order).
86. Con Air
Just look at the hair.
I think half the FX budget must have gone on it as Con Air has without doubt some of the worst CGI & green screen FX ever committed to screen.
Yep, technically this film had not aged well but its really a great example of that bygone age when 15/18 rated action movies could be massive box office hits.
Con Air is high concept tomfoolery of the highest order and hits every note pretty much on the button. The only downside is the sluggish final act where Cyrus the virus suffers the most forgettable villain offing that you won't be remembering any time soon.
85. The World's End
Watching the trailer for The World's End I thought:
"Great! Pegg & Frost in a drinking based reunion comedy with heavy references to the early 90's. I'm in!"
Then they drop in all the 'world get taken over by aliens' gubbins and I'm like:
"Oh..."
I'm happy to report then, that it all kind of works out to be one the most enjoyable films of the summer. It's has all the ingredients of the perfect saturday night movie; Drinking, swearing, laughing, fighting and alien decapitation fun!
And it's made all the better with an extra beardy slice of Bronhom.
83. Seven Psychopaths
There is a point in Seven Psychopaths when a character states how the film should turn out and I was thinking "oh, I hope they don't do that." They do; The film then loses a bit of pace, some direction until it eventually still meets the same conclusion 20 minutes after it should have done.
Not to say the film is bad or anything; It's not. It's bloody brilliant most of the time but final third feels and a little sluggish until the perky/ smart final few minutes.
82. Star Trek Into Darkness
Enjoyable summer blockbuster with Benedict Bumbercatch totally stealing the show as the scenery chewing super terrorist, John Harrison.
The film looks beautiful and is not only good humoured, it's really funny as well - registering well over 7 laughs on the laugh-o-meter. Marvellous stuff!
81. Man Of Steel
Watching Man Of Steel is a bit like being involved in a minor car crash.
While it's not the worst thing in the world, you're shook up with a bit of headache and you're left with the overriding feeling that if people had been concentrating a bit more everything could have turned out alright.
80. Perrier's Bounty
A tight, well scripted, swearingly acted and violent comedy thriller featuring all your favourite game of thrones actors.
Jim Broadbent steels show as a delusional dad with a penchant for gun to head combat with startlingly accurate results.
79. Goldfinger
James Bond and Gold. All the best Bonds have it in the title and this is no exception!
78. Unknown
Liam Neeson's B-Movie roadshow rolls into town with Unknown. It's actually pretty good, although it does spend far too much of the running time being completely average...
77. The Box
A bunch of nonsense that offers little entertainment outside of Frank Langella's performance. Cameron Diaz's Box is not pretty or interesting.
It's a big baggy waste of time.
76. The Amazing Spider-Man
A completely unecessary retelling of the Spidey origin with (another) great cast and some awful CGI. The lizard just looks like they got Rhys Ifans pissed and sprayed him green.
Also Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield always look about 15 years older than all the other kids in school.
Laughable and pointless.
75. Iron Man 3
The third instalment of the man in a can is very entertaining for the most part. It's script sparkles, it has some pretty nasty stuff for a 12 certificate movie and it conjures up some quite sinister goings on.
This all adds up to misleading and somewhat unsatisfying conclusion that just confirms that Iron Man needs better villians if the series is to roll on to a 4th film. So not just another 'bunch of CGI dudes' flying about.
74. Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz is in the same camp as Kick Ass, due to the fact I enjoyed it far more the second time around.
It has an
amazing cast of Brit flick royalty and all the team are on top form; The only
downer is the over reliance on the action scene references -
particularly Point Break - lead it to feel a little derivative.
73. Taken
I think Taken is something of a modern action classic. Neeson is brilliant as CIA Dad with his 'I'll snap your neck as soon as look at you' attitude.
All the bad guys are suitably despicable and as Big Liam states in the films most iconic moment - he does find them and does kill them!
B-movie bliss all round.
72. Zodiac
A grizzly, earnest 'whodunnit' that turns into an overlong 'weneverfoundhim'.
Robert Downey Jr. plays Tony Stark, Jake Gyllenhaal is somewhat unconvincing
as Robert Graysmith and Mark Ruffalo holds it all together as a cop who
is twenty years older than he actually is.
Overall I was left feeling slightly short changed at the final destination, although I did enjoy journey.
71. Sightseers
Any film that features a serial killer from Birmingham is always going to be a favourite. That said Sightseers is one of the funniest films, yet darkest, you will see.
Not only is it wickedly amusing tale it also does more for the caravan holiday than the caravan club could ever hope to do. Kind of.
69. Salt
I was initially surprised by Salt. At first it appeared that a mainstream blockbuster might be attempting to subvert the genre conventions and flip the whole thing around.
Sure enough though, the final act reverts everything to type. So after an hour of dull action set pieces and some of the worst CGI ever committed to film, you're left feeling you should've watched something else much less boring instead.
68. The Campaign
While The Campaign has been roundly battered by critics I have to say I derived some guilty pleasure from it.
It is, in all intent and purposes, 'Trading Places Lite' so even with this in mind it does have quite a few Ferrell based laughs and some general gross out niceties. Meanwhile Galifianakis gets the shit stick when it comes to accents.
67. Four Brothers
A case of it's so bad, it's almost good. Although the scummy goodness doesn't quite make it to the surface. It's just a piece of crap with one good action scene and it's morals firmly shoved up Mark Wahlbergs arse.
66. Premium Rush
An average bike-based flick with an exceptional cast.
It's a strange mix - the film doesn't really know what genre to stick with (which is a problem). One minute it's a revenge thriller, the next a high octane action race-a-thon comedy.
It ends up not being enough of anything and what your left with an unsatisfactory experience all round. Certainly NOT as good as BMX Bandits.
65. Fracture
A cripplingly average thriller with a 'twist' that you can see coming almost before the film begins.
64. The Dark Knight Returns Part 2
Continues the good work of part 1 and enjoyably extends the Supes v Bats fight sequence for suitably epic results. A good quality retelling of one the best comic books ever.
63. Wreck It Ralph
Wreck It Ralph a great slice of crispy Pixar fun. It has all the genre trappings you expect and is essentially Monsters Inc. for video games, which is no bad thing.
All the main players deliver, especially John C. Reilly as Ralph, and the animation is right on the button with some great references to old coin-op style anims. Lovely stuff.
62. Berberian Sound Studio
61. Silver Linings Playbook
Silver Linings Playbook is not so much about mental illness and more about the two protagonists finding each other. It's a straight up rom-com for me and I have to say that Jennifer Lawrence is staggeringly good in it!!!
Not only does she look taller than I thought (or is Bradley Cooper a short arse?) she is sexy, vulnerable, enigmatic, smart and spunky as the 'life has dealt me a pretty shitty hand'- Tiffany.
It's a really top notch cast with all the leads getting their acting glands a thorough work out. De Niro is utterly brilliant as the grouchy sport obsessed dad (Pat Snr.) and Cooper is also great as the lead (Pat Jnr.). Not quite Oscar worthy for me but their something about Cooper that is always appealling (I thinks it's his accent?) and I always enjoy his presence and performance.
Well, apart from in THIS anyway.
60. Ted
While Ted is good fun; it is as Riggs and Murtaugh (circa Lethal Weapon) would say, 'pretty fucking thin.'
At times it feels like an extended episode of Family Guy, which is no bad thing, and while 'the fight scene' is a highlight and there are many amusing Flash Gordon inspired moments, as a whole it's just not as great as it could have been.
Overall then, a 'plenty of laughs' out of 'could have been awful'.
59. The Dark Knights Returns Part 1
After Batman: Year One I wasn't holding out much hope for this 'DC Universe Animated Original Movie'. I can happily report it's actually very good! I think this is more to do with the source materail than what the animators have done here but I cannot deny, it's a rollicking good ride!
As far as the animation is concerned, it's a step up from Year One and the all action narrative really suits the medium. For everyone that has read the book, there is enough here to recommend you check it out.
Quality!
58. Killer Joe
Matthew Maccaroni is really, really good in Killer Joe. In fact he is pretty freaking amazing considering he is the acting equivalent of rehydrated gristle (usually). However the best thing in the movie (which jam packed with top peformances) is the bottom feeding, slack jawed Ansel (a crumbly faced Thomas Haden Church).
Overall, it's a grim and grotty affair but not without a certain psychotic charm and you'll certainly never look at KFC in the same way after seeing it.
57. Blue Valentine
Ouch! This is one those films that's almost too real in it's depiction of a relationship breakdown. If you've ever been involved in one those arguments that goes round and round in circles without any resolution (and enjoyed it) then you'll love this film!
Gosling and Williams do excellent impressions of normal looking people - especially Gosling and his 'present day Dean' hair line which makes him almost unrecognisable.
Overall it's an enjoyable tale of sadness and heartbreak set in an all to real place for a Sunday evenings viewing.
56. Cemetery Junction
Cemetery Junction is the best film John Hughes didn't make. It's also the most 'ungervais' movie Ricky Gervais will make. By that I mean it lacks acerbic, nasty and sometimes hilariously cruel humour he can dish out for a more positive and sunny outlook on the proceedings.
This is to his and the films credit as it is a beautifully entertaining comedy that is both very, very funny, nicely observed and all warm and fluffy with it.
55. Moonrise Kingdom
Upon seeing the trailer for Moonrise Kingdom I thought 'standard Wes Anderson', which is great, although not unexpected.
What you actually get it is the best children's movie of the year (of 2012) that isn't really made for them, which doesn't really matter as none of them will see it. I can imagine some of the excellent young cast (Jared Gilman & Kara Hayward are particularly spectacular) of the film actually watching this thinking 'what the hell is this all about?'
Its a wonderful tale of youthful discovery with a bit of the great escape thrown in for good measure. I loved every minute of it.
54. From Russia With Love
From Russia with Love is the first Bond movie to really establish 'the formula' of the many Bond films to follow and is a full on Bond caper from start to finish!
The pre-credits sequence, the introduction of Q, a proper theme tune and for the first time featuring some spectacular action sequences. A classic henchman turn from Robert Shaw and this really has whetted, my already considerably moist, appetite for the rest of the Bond 50 box set.
Onward!
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